There are far too many things I don't understand...in this world...in my life...in my concept of faith. These last 7 months I've really spent time reflecting on questions that I have. Talking to others, talking to God...questioning...And I honestly think God appreciates me taking the time to ask questions. I want my faith to be my own. I want to believe whole-heartedly. And for me to do that, I need to ask questions...
Questions like, "Why did my dog Paco have to die?" [I don't care if you think it's silly, I wonder all the time, he was my best friend.]
Questions like, "Why is there downs syndrome?"
Questions like, "How am I taking a bath and washing dishes and watering my lawn and yet children in 3rd world countries are dying of dehydration?"
And questions like, "Why is there cancer?"
Today specifically, "Why does 8-year-old Jane have to be losing her battle with cancer?"
These things all seem unfair to me. They make me question God. They make me mad when I hear people say, "It's all in God's plan...It's happening for a reason...Or 'God never gives you more than you can handle'."
That last one especially kills me...because really? God gives people...little girls...cancer? I don't believe that. I do believe God is with us in our pain and suffering, God provides us with support...but I don't believe God causes suffering.
My husband has this thought and it's really one of the only things that registers with me..."Things are not as God intended." With the sin and corruption in the world, things have gone far away from the ideal God had planned.
The more I research I come across this other thought that makes sense..."God is equally sad and hurting for these circumstances." Of course. Finally. That makes sense. God cries with us when these things happen. God is just as heartbroken -- if not more -- as we are.
And God put us here to help each other -- to be for each other -- to be with each other. LOVE ONE ANOTHER he said. But in our "put ourselves first" society, we've forgotten that. We've forgotten to care for one another. To do whatever we can to help. It makes my heart heavy to think about it.
I've found myself feeling guilty I feel that I'm not doing enough. So I look at what the story of Jesus tell us..."When I was thirsty, you gave me something to drink. When I was hungry, you fed me." "What you do for the least of these, you do for me."
So I'm trying...I'm trying to give when asked of. I'm trying to help when I can. I'm trying to open my eyes and see all the needs and discern where I can help and how.
And it kills me that today I tweeted a request to start trending #JanesWish and #BigTimeRush to try to get this brave little girl's last wish granted and only a few retweeted it. I hate that we can make time to follow celebrities and watch reality shows but can't take 3 minutes to help get a wish taken care of.
Don't get me wrong, I'm just as guilty as the next...too often I've overlooked things, areas, people that I could've helped. But I'm trying and I want to change that.
So please, take a minute. Tweet, Facebook, do whatever you can to help Jane's wish be granted. Because if it were your daughter/niece/friend you'd want anyone and everyone to help make her happy one last time.
And leave her some love on her Caring Bridge page: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/janefiemeyer/journal
And to sum it up, I really hope I'm not offending anyone with this post. I think people are given the type of faith they need to relate to God...and I'm just sharing mine with you. I'm not against how you believe and connect, I'm just telling you how I do.
But please, take a minute and get #JanesWish out there to the public and Big Time Rush.
